The Investment

The Investment.

It’s a wondrous thing to witness how many folk want a better life, longer life, more money, healthier families and spiritual grounding, but no one wants to do the work.  I’ve also noticed that most of us, and I do include myself have at times trusted the vision for our lives but truly want the journey to be of our own design.   We say we trust our Master Love Source, the maker and increaser of our faith but rarely pour ourselves into finding out exactly who that Love Source IS.

And don’t trip, cause all of these things have been accounted for in the every day apparatus of being a living breathing mechanism.  Uhhh, a clearer way of understanding this is first recognizing that well, hell, we’re Human.  Which is an automatic fail in and of it self. Lol.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not saying that being human is a bad thing (for you extremists) but what I am saying is it is our natural inclination to have traits of laziness, selfishness, vanity, slothfulness, arrogance, belligerence, ignorance, insensitivity, entitlement and host of other seemingly negative nuances.  It’s also our right to be proud, certain, confident, trusting, loving, honest, pure at heart, giving and superb creators, inventors, intuitive, thrill seeking and adventurous.

What I’ve married myself to is recognizing that the Vision for my life is an all broadcast kind of thing.  In most cases, others see it even before you do…you ever hear someone remark “I’m not surprised” or “that’s to be expected” even while you’re still in awe of your own accomplishment?  Well, that’s because the author of your life, my life, and our lives has yet again pulled one over on us.  Your Master Love Source is the best publicist you could ever want or think to have.  This is why it’s more important for you to believe in the journey rather than the vision for your life.

In most cases we fail, not at believing that we’re great, wonderful, gorgeous, fully capable, we fail at recognizing the steps God has awarded us in moving toward that vision.  We must also fully believe that though we have seen the vision, it does not mean that it happens in the order that we’ve seen it.  You ever hear someone say, “the vision has changed” and then 5 years later you see him or her moving fastly into the place that they’d first recognized as the original motion in their movement.  Well, that’s because quite simply, who wants to see a movie where you know every twist and turn with no surprises?  The Master of your life has to be entertained too! Lol.  Sounds like malarkey right?

But it’s definitely true.  If God had told King David every twist and turn early on in his journey, David would have sat his ass down on a rock and quit! And I would not have had the experience of putting my prayers in the whaling wall of David in Israel a year ago, Period!  Those twists and turns however are what make us great, building character and strength in the lining of our peregrination.  Tenacity, “stick-to-itiveness” as a dear friend of mine would say.

I’ve often said that singing, performing is the greatest love affair of my life.  It’s the only “woman” allowed to cheat on me and I still come running back to her knowing what she’s done.  The very thing that tears me apart is what rebuilds me time and time again. 

Today’s note is not about how much weight I’ve lost, what I’ve accomplished as a singer, writer, entrepreneur or servant to the people.  It’s about you the eager believer of that which has been cast on “the canvas of your imagination”.  Be forewarned that the journey you’re embarking upon is no fast paced walk or sprint for that matter- it is of a fine wine, a delicacy to be savored.  A body of living experiences trusted only because you’ve leaned on the shoulder that continues to design, shape and define your life.  

Want whatever it is you want, but only desire the things that have been given to mind in the secret place.  Those conversations that only you know about, the sweet whispers that come to you in your dreams.   And then dedicate yourself to the work!  There are know handouts, all things desired must be acquired through works.  Hard work!  And though I trust and believe that “favor ain’t fair” God knows whose already ready for that leg of their journey.  Stay in your lane with your mind, heart, body and head fixed forward.  Do not turn to the left nor the right for only a fool does so in turn missing the destination that was purposed just for you.

You may be Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Hinduism or have African Diasporic tradition… Truth is, I don’t care because the principals are the same.   Dial yourself into the process.

The Skin I Live In: 100 Pounds and Down Day II

I saw a movie with Antonio Banderas recently, the premise was, well, crazy as hell. But it did leave a lingering notion to ponder. If I could be anyone else, who would I be? If I could change any body parts, which would I choose? The more I thought about the “modern” world with all of its cutting and changing of sorts, bleeding to be someone you weren’t born to be… I decided! Yes, there are changes that need to be made, some shape shifting that needs to happen but more than any of those thoughts was the wondrous truth that I would Never want to be anyone more than I want to be me. So why not make me Better!
Though I wouldn’t want to be anyone else, live in any other persons skin, and I damn sure don’t want to change any body parts…is there a way to be a better, brighter, more in tune me without succumbing to the lazy idea of cutting it off, over lapping and layering it, pinching and pulling on it?

Yes! There is! Wake up Fat Fat! Day II

The Wake Up Call for me was stepping on an electronic scale that read “ERROR”. I mean, what the hell!!!? You mean to tell me they don’t even make home scales that could tally my weight? It was disheartening, embarrassing and I even felt a bit of humiliation to say the least. And the truth is, there was no one there pointing fingers at me, laughing or making me feel like I was less than human. No one physically pointing I mean.

In one fell swoop I felt everything I’d felt back in my 11th grade math class. I came in, I sat down and the floor picked me up! Lol. Now, the reality is, the chair was a misfit. But it was still terrible. The teacher laughed 1st and there went my confidence as the classroom went into an uproar. The scale represented for me years of feeling alone and unwanted, reasonably unattractive simply because I weighed more than others. An untruth.

I was so clouded by the weight I’d put on that I began to limit my idea of self and who I am called to be. Leaving the weight behind is easy, (kinda) ☺ but the memories and reasoning in why I chose to eat the things I did, well, that’s the part that has to be fixed. I say has as in the present, because I still struggle, I still revert back to some of those thoughts that make me feel like salvation is Not in the church but in Church’s Chicken. But NOW the difference is, I call Victory before the battle. I understand that how I think about myself determines how far I’ll go, how much I’ll win, what I will accomplish. The goal is set and the mark Will be met. But that takes arming yourself properly. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

My weapons of choice:
• DHERBS Full Body Cleanse
• A Gym Membership (Not a damn visitors pass) a pass can be revoked, membership is a decided action
• A RAW Food diet (Laaaaaawd knows this one is a work in progress)
• And Margo my fearless trainer (She’s last only because I have to be self motivated. Weight loss is a journey; no one is obligated to do this with you.)

Day 1 was hard, my mood was a flux, and I could all of a sudden smell every sweet and savory ingredient known to man and for some reason everybody seemed to be speaking to me extra loud and in code. Don’t know What that was all about. Lol.

I did manage to find some good raw food and I had two brilliant workouts. Yes ladies and gentlemen I said two, 2, dos, more than one. Believe it or not the workouts made me feel incredible.  Look! The process is a process. Lets not weave false doctrine or smoke and lights…It’s going to take hard work to make the PV (Physical Vision) come to life. Lord knows I hope I’m as positive tomorrow as I sound today lol. Each day is different.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about me walking in the house to the smell of homemade hamburgers and then getting asked to make a store run for cupcakes, soda and cheetos.  Lord knows, it took everything in me not to slap DEEE hell out of everyone in my path. Lol.

  Everything you see here is raw, homemade and delicious.  From the homeade Kale Shake to the Raw Tacos with Sun Chorizo (nuts and seeds) to the Hearty homemade salad.

Keep an eye out for my work out posts, I’m 6’8 and doin it!

This is my “What the hell! look as I waited to directions in the airport in Tel Aviv, Israel.  I spent two amazing weeks there performing and seeing the amazing city’s of Jerusalem, Nazareth, and a few others.  Amazing to say the least.