Dream Live Thrive the Dherbs Battlefield; The Motherphaukin Fight

494 Pounds Ago

Hey guys,

I’m so happy to be back in LA, charged with new energy and ready to Do More.  So here we are and there we were.  Get it? No?

I can explain; there was a time that I was so lost and oblivious that I never noticed the weight I put on.  I was walking around dying but no one including me could tell.  And now here we are, I’m focused and moving into my destiny.  I’m NOW able to look back at photos, see where I started, see where I’ve been and now forecast where I’m going.

Today I’m thankful for having lived what I’ve lived so that I can help others Change Their Life.  Gaining weight sneaks in on ya, you don’t see it as it’s happening, hell, even when you’re losing it you barely believe. BUt that’s just it.  You’ve got to believe.

Workout Until Something Happens #WOUSH 

It’s not about checking scales and proving to others what you can do, it’s about staying in the Fight.  It’s about commitment, trust, self worth and LOVE.

Look, anything in your path that keeps you from loving you and living your Best life has to be let go of.  This includes people., things, jobs, and self ideas.

I remember telling a friend, “being a Big Guy is my brand”  What? AB are you serious, did you really marry yourself to the quick death that can come with being obese?  I hadn’t realized that we can lie to ourselves, we can convince ourselves of untruths that actually stunt, hinder our growth.

When you awake from the slumber of nothingness having drowned in the hopelessness of your mental dungeon you have to fight!  I truly daily put my best foot forward.  It’s not easy and I fail on most days, there’s always some routine or exercise that’s new to me but failing doesn’t mean quit!  It means get back up and get in the motherphaukin fight.  Stay the course.  Find your specific way of moving forward and don’t stop.

Dream Live Thrive the Dherbs Battlefield: Butts & Bulges

Back in the gym. 2.5 on elliptical and 3.4 on treadmill

I already stated that I’d eaten New York and a portion of Los Angeles over the coarse of the month what I hadn’t talked about however is the pressure of every day life and the toll it can have on your physical presence in the gym and even what you’re choosing to eat, put in your body.

I’m not gonna make this long, but I wanted to share with you what my trials and experiences have been over the past few weeks and how its effected my eating and weight. The hardest thing was recognizing that I was beginning to slip into a space that is unrecognizable by most of the people around me. This is why we, you and me have to constantly check in with ourselves. No one knows you like You. I had taken on a bit of guilt from my splurge, just a hint, but that’s all the darkness of Emotional Eating needs to roll out a spread that will keep you so occupied you wont even know you ate the kitchen sink until its gone. Just a hint and depression will push that refrigerator gate wide open.

Its been for some time now that whenever my mom is not well my heart seems to sink, I’m sure that’s natural but it doesn’t just sink. My heart sinks first and then comes the push to the kitchen; snacks, potato chips, candy, sodas. Things that I removed from my home mysteriously began to return – My aunt going through her 4^th surgery due to breast cancer got to me also. My moms and aunt are my girls man. That crap was hurting, so much so that I began neglecting the gym.

Its funny how the thing you’re running from ends up being exactly what you need to pull you right back together. I needed the gym, I needed the high energy and my body needed to push a little harder. I can’t speak for everyone out there, but tonight I’m grateful for my support team, my mom who even though I’m visiting her in the hospital tells me “well you cant just sit here, go to the gym” and my aunt who randomly texts me just to say “you looked good today when I saw you, you going to the gym tonight? That keeps me motivated and Finally “I” keep me motivated.

I wa grateful for their words but I was even happier that I decided to put myself first and do what was best for me and

2nd Day back in the gym

my body. Guys, the food choices we make now become our bodies later. Child I was so happy to buy a watermelon the other day I didn’t realize that I was standing at the cashier … hugging it. In public Lol; I wasn’t even embarrassed, told the lady, “you’d be hugging this thing two if you knew how much weight I’ve dropped in the last two months”. Dherbs now has a new Full Body Cleanse customer… Dherbs.com

Have an awesome day guys and remember #F4F Fight For Life

BY the way, I do not take it lightly the break I took, there were consequences for those actions. I weighed myself before heading to New York, I had come down an additional 18 pounds, 5 of which I put back on.  It was as if I out on a pound a day.  Terrible.  But I’ve already confessed.  I’m telling you this because I want you to be accountable also.  I did not make a good decision even if it was my birthday and I was in New York.  Those were all the more reasons to have risen to the better eating occasion.  We’ve learned our lesson and won’t go backwards moving forward. 🙂

The Investment

The Investment.

It’s a wondrous thing to witness how many folk want a better life, longer life, more money, healthier families and spiritual grounding, but no one wants to do the work.  I’ve also noticed that most of us, and I do include myself have at times trusted the vision for our lives but truly want the journey to be of our own design.   We say we trust our Master Love Source, the maker and increaser of our faith but rarely pour ourselves into finding out exactly who that Love Source IS.

And don’t trip, cause all of these things have been accounted for in the every day apparatus of being a living breathing mechanism.  Uhhh, a clearer way of understanding this is first recognizing that well, hell, we’re Human.  Which is an automatic fail in and of it self. Lol.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not saying that being human is a bad thing (for you extremists) but what I am saying is it is our natural inclination to have traits of laziness, selfishness, vanity, slothfulness, arrogance, belligerence, ignorance, insensitivity, entitlement and host of other seemingly negative nuances.  It’s also our right to be proud, certain, confident, trusting, loving, honest, pure at heart, giving and superb creators, inventors, intuitive, thrill seeking and adventurous.

What I’ve married myself to is recognizing that the Vision for my life is an all broadcast kind of thing.  In most cases, others see it even before you do…you ever hear someone remark “I’m not surprised” or “that’s to be expected” even while you’re still in awe of your own accomplishment?  Well, that’s because the author of your life, my life, and our lives has yet again pulled one over on us.  Your Master Love Source is the best publicist you could ever want or think to have.  This is why it’s more important for you to believe in the journey rather than the vision for your life.

In most cases we fail, not at believing that we’re great, wonderful, gorgeous, fully capable, we fail at recognizing the steps God has awarded us in moving toward that vision.  We must also fully believe that though we have seen the vision, it does not mean that it happens in the order that we’ve seen it.  You ever hear someone say, “the vision has changed” and then 5 years later you see him or her moving fastly into the place that they’d first recognized as the original motion in their movement.  Well, that’s because quite simply, who wants to see a movie where you know every twist and turn with no surprises?  The Master of your life has to be entertained too! Lol.  Sounds like malarkey right?

But it’s definitely true.  If God had told King David every twist and turn early on in his journey, David would have sat his ass down on a rock and quit! And I would not have had the experience of putting my prayers in the whaling wall of David in Israel a year ago, Period!  Those twists and turns however are what make us great, building character and strength in the lining of our peregrination.  Tenacity, “stick-to-itiveness” as a dear friend of mine would say.

I’ve often said that singing, performing is the greatest love affair of my life.  It’s the only “woman” allowed to cheat on me and I still come running back to her knowing what she’s done.  The very thing that tears me apart is what rebuilds me time and time again. 

Today’s note is not about how much weight I’ve lost, what I’ve accomplished as a singer, writer, entrepreneur or servant to the people.  It’s about you the eager believer of that which has been cast on “the canvas of your imagination”.  Be forewarned that the journey you’re embarking upon is no fast paced walk or sprint for that matter- it is of a fine wine, a delicacy to be savored.  A body of living experiences trusted only because you’ve leaned on the shoulder that continues to design, shape and define your life.  

Want whatever it is you want, but only desire the things that have been given to mind in the secret place.  Those conversations that only you know about, the sweet whispers that come to you in your dreams.   And then dedicate yourself to the work!  There are know handouts, all things desired must be acquired through works.  Hard work!  And though I trust and believe that “favor ain’t fair” God knows whose already ready for that leg of their journey.  Stay in your lane with your mind, heart, body and head fixed forward.  Do not turn to the left nor the right for only a fool does so in turn missing the destination that was purposed just for you.

You may be Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Hinduism or have African Diasporic tradition… Truth is, I don’t care because the principals are the same.   Dial yourself into the process.